On behalf of an expectant mother, the first impression of choosing a family is from your adoption family profile. This profile is very important because subconsciously she is visualizing her child being part of your family. As a mother of four children that were all adopted, I understand the importance in the decision-making process when an expectant mother chooses a family for her child. During my ten-year adoption journey, I have created many beautiful profiles of my family. As a result, we were chosen various times and shown as an example to other hopeful families of what an adoption profile should resemble. I like to share my expertise with key tips and ideas on how to create the ideal adoption family profile.
Show That You Love Each Other
Organizing your profile with a combination of photographs and written content is best. Both forms of communication are essential; however, your photographs can show more about your loving family than words because most people are visual in nature. I normally added a sentence or two describing what was going on in the photographs. Most of my photographs were candid although; I did have one formal studio setting where we were wearing our Sunday best dress.
To make it easier, I told a story of our lives starting from when my husband and I were dating, then our wedding, and honeymoon pictures. When we were blessed with adopting our children, I would include them one by one for each profile we submitted. Consider adding photographs of your extended family from both sides. Expectant mothers enjoy seeing siblings, parents, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. because they are visualizing how their child will be part of your family. It is not difficult to show off love through photographs. You want to express your love, dreams, hopes, and values by painting a picture through your profile. Remember a solution is what she is seeking.
Show Your Family Fun Time
Adding photographs from your last BBQ, Thanksgiving and/or family traditions paints this picture. Showing off birthday parties are always fun or even silly photographs that make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine even during those difficult times for the expectant mother.
Hobbies are important to include as well. For example, I like to stencil cookies so I demonstrated with a couple of photographs on how to decorate these cookies. If you have pets, they are part of the family so include them. Do you like going camping? Let her know your favorite places to go on vacations. What are your favorite family activities? Every Spring we plant a vegetable garden. I take photographs of my children being involved in this project. My children love digging in the dirt! Later as the garden grows, I show how we reap the rewards of having a vegetable garden with a delicious dish we cooked together.
Another important area is education. I included my graduation picture posing with my husband to let her know education is important. One more fun idea is to give her a brief description of your children’s favorite school subjects by having a picture of them getting ready for school or a photograph taken with their impressive report card.
I always felt having photographs of the baby’s nursery helpful for the expectant mother to imagine her baby there. This was important for me to let her know how grateful I was for being considered as a prospective family. For this reason, any photographs that describe what your family is all about, I would include in your profile. These details may seem small to you but it means the world to an expectant mother.
Photographs that I do not include are ones that are immodest. For example, I would not show a picture of myself in a bikini (honestly, I haven’t worn one in years!) or low-cut blouses that show too much cleavage, or Daisy Duke shorts; I think you get the idea. For further understanding, a friend asked if I would look over her profile. Her family was incredible. Every time their profile was shown, they were not chosen. She included their favorite activity which was going to the beach every summer. She had a photograph of her playing in the sand with her daughter wearing matching bikinis. Although she looked extremely beautiful, I suggested she replace the photograph with a different one. Needless to say, the next situation that came up, they were the family that the expectant mother wanted for her child! If you are unsure of which photographs that is inappropriate, consult with family and friends.
Write A Letter For The Expectant Mother
It is always respectful to write a letter for the expectant mother. This letter is the first impression she receives from your profile. I address her personally, especially if I know of her name or simply address the letter by saying, ‘Dear Expectant Parent or Mother.’ Do not write Dear ‘birth mother’ because until she relinquished, she is not one.
I pour my heart out to her on how much I am grateful that she is considering our family for her adoption plan. I address the difficulty in this process for her and hope that our profile would give her some clarity, peace, and comfort. I never mention ‘I know how you are feeling’ because I don’t. This can appear as self-righteous on our part because unless we are in her shoes, we truly do not know how she is feeling. I do thank the expectant mother for her time in getting to know us because without her we would not be able to become parents and grow our forever family.
Try not to give her a lengthy sad sobbing story of infertility problems. On the other hand, briefly explain the reasons for considering adoption. This helps her to appreciate you. I never mention how much I will love her child more because the expectant mother loves her child. This is a difficult decision she is making to place her child for adoption. I would not include that her child would be safe and happy with your family or as their mother you would treat her child as your own and fulfill all his/her needs. Most likely, she could do the same. However, I realize every situation differ from case to case. Just because an expectant mother is deciding on an adoption plan, the love for her unborn child is not any less. Rather, you want to help her feel relaxed and happy. You want the expectant mother reading your letter and profile to finish it with a good idea of what life in your home would mean for her child.
In conclusion, I would include how your relationship will look like after the adoption. Does she want a close or an open adoption? How would this look like for her and your family? Be honest and it should go without saying, do not promise anything that you cannot or would not do.
Be Original
Last but not least, mention all the important things about your family and be honest. Be original in what you show and/or write. The content you mention in your profile will impact a lot of lives so always be truthful.
This may seem overwhelming. But I will tell you my secret in creating the most beautiful original adoption profile. This was one of the smartest decisions I made on how to put together a profile without the overload of anxiety of where to start. My Memories software saved my life. There are so many templates and features to use. It’s actually really fun! I created all my profiles from My Memories software except my very first one. I had many compliments from every adoption agencies I worked with and used my profile as an example for other families.
Now that my adoption journey is over, I still continue to use My Memories software for my family albums. I made invitations, birth announcements, you name it, I’ve made it! I promise you, this will take away the stress of creating a profile. You will love the end product and so will the expectant mother.
Because I love this software so much, I included a link for a discount! Please use this code STMMMS2529 to earn your discount. Have fun and enjoy creating your adoption family profile!
